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Tml is KL's last run with us, before he officially leaves the school. So by hook or by crook I will be there tml. I was initially in a dilemma, cuz there's no one to accompany me tml. But well it's KL's last day, and I know he wants as many peepo to be there as possible.. It's just sad that Baby, Chong and Eun can't be there to see him off. I'm sure they'd love to. I'm going to miss him a lot after tml. Though he's several years my senior, he's still a great pal and running sessions will never be the same without him.
I stoned in front of the computer the entire afternoon without doing anything productive. Was supposed to do debate research, but I was feeling drowsy (bah, lousy excuse) so I ended up surfing the net for random stuff and blog-hopping. I work better at night, anyw. Now I'm waiting for ASP to come online so that we can finish up the BBQ food thing and OC night trail. We were supposed to meet at 1930, but we pushed back the time by one whole hour cuz we have something on. I don't know about him, but my excuse was cuz I wanted to watch tv. .__. 妻子的诱惑 is a nice show! Interesting storyline. :D
I wanna wrap up everything ASAP and get to bed early tonight. No more staying up till almost one today (or tml, if you think about it) cuz I have CCA in the morning tml. Plus it's about the time of the month and I feel worn out easily. (Yawns) I feel better in my dreams anyw.
I'm wondering if I should switch back to blogger, though it's common knowledge the blogger system sucks big time now. I realised that ever since I switched to posting at Livej, my life has been on a downturn. I don't know if it's just me being lame and all, but as I was reading my Livej archives, I realise that on most days, I don't feel happy. There's always some form of conflict or problem. Ah. Maybe I'm just being superstitious.
(Yawns) It's 2031 and ASP is late and I'm already tired.
I didn't realise this until BFF told me about me yesterday. I like to read archives, usually those of my close pals and of cuz, mine. This is an indication that I like to look back and reminisce upon the past. It also means that I find it hard to move on from my past because I cannot stop marvelling at the beauty of my own past. Which is so not good, usually. If I don't be careful, I may fall back into the realms of my past and be stuck there for as long as I don't have the determination to pull myself out and plonk myself on the hard cold ground of the presence.
Anyway, I was reading my 2008 archives yesterday, and I realise there are so many memories that I wanna relieve, so many scenes I wanna replay, so many words I wanna say again.. There, here I go again. I miss those times, seriously. And sometimes I can't help but wonder why there is such a stark contrast between the past and the present. Things have to change and peepo have to go. The backdrop is pretty much the same but the occupants are no longer the same. And that makes the difference in the world.
New motion to prep for debate tml: This House Condemns Gambling. I'm opp, and this means more fun. Cuz contrary to orthodoxical belief, gambling is not entirely detrimental. Like any other temptations, it can be beneficial if controlled. I'm not saying I'm a big fan of gambling nor that I support excessive gambling. I'm just saying there are always two sides to an issue and we shouldn't label gambling as being irrevocably bad.
S'been long since I prepped for any motion. This is my first time doing it without Cheng hui and Jia wen, and I feel a bit.. unsure. Oh well, it's a whole new experience anyway. It's high time I learn to stand up instead of being reliant on them forever.
I'm feeling unusually chirpy now. Unusual in a way I can't thumb an expression to..
Finallyyyyyyyy, ASP and I are (more or less) done with the Amazing Race for S1OC. Meeting online tml AGAIN to do Night Trail (thank god for the experience at NE camp!) and confirmation of bbq food for RC BBQ! Whoopee. Seriously I wonder what's wrong with me ARGH. I can't stop being hyper. It's good in the sense it's better than feeling EMO and CRYING but I feel sooo... weird.
WHATEVER I'M NOT COMPLAINING. ^^v
It's homework day tml. :( Time to do homework (sob sob) and THAT TOOF CALLED ME A NERD!!!! It's not like I wanna do homework, seriously. But I've gotta catch up. I hope tml will be a productive day. I didn't cry today! I hope tml will be a better day. C'mon Em you can do it you can do it. :) Cheers!
CCA this morning was great! I'm really beginning to love Taboo. :D But after playing it for quite some time, you begin to know the words at the back of your hands. Like when Sabina said 'yellow', Lorenzo immediately said 'spaghetti!' cuz he remembered Shi ya describing it as being 'the long long yellow colour thing'. Hahah! Anyw we had three new members today; Christie, Sabina and Rafiqin. Christie and Sabina are from AVA and KL told me to take good care of them, hahah! But I think both of them had a great start today. Keep up the good work!
Practice motion for today was: THBT (fyi it means This House Believes That) charity begins with giving to beggars. It's sorta complicated at first sight, but after some analyzing it's actually quite a fun motion. Better than the typical BRG and whether or not we should wear uniforms etc anyway.
Had lunch at Subway with BFF after debate. Thanks a lot for coming to accompany me babe! :D She did something embarrassing again (why am I not surprised). After buying our food I took our plastic cups and wanted to fill them with the drinks provided, and she suddenly exclaimed 'Eh! Why no ice one?! Wait I must go ask the person for ice..' and starts to walk away. SSSEEERRRIIIOOOUUUSSSLLLYYY SRH! Oh my goodness. I started laughing and she whacked me.
Had a nice time talking to her anyw. ^^ But the both of us were freezing by the time we finished our food. :/
Headed back to school for S1OC discussion with ASP after that. As usual, the discussion was unproductive -.- cuz when you put us together, we always end up digressing and talking about some other unrelated stuff animatedly. Oh well. At least I had a good laugh. :D
Run today was pretty boring..cuz firstly Baby, Eun and Chong were not there (okay la I admit I miss the three of you ><) and secondly I couldn't run properly due to 1. stomach cramps and 2. chest pain. So I walked with Nicholas for most of the 'run'. He had muscle cramps in his legs I think. But in any case, thanks a lot for waiting! :D I doubt you'll read this though. After the run Mr peh talked to us about SCSM and the BBQ. I hope the BBQ will be as fun-filled as the one we had last year. :)
SCSM runners (if you happen to be reading)! You have to be in school next Thursday at 4pm to collect your goody bag (you freaking paid $45 for it so make sure you get it). It's essential that you have your bib and champion chip with you on the day of the run, so remember to turn up!
Went home with them after that. KL and I were talking and we realised we change topic very quickly. -.-
I feel cheerful this night. That's a good sign. It's been an internal battle these days. It's like fighting off the Imperius curse. But you get stronger after each try. Until one day, you can throw off the curse completely.
1445-1630: Meeting with ASP reg S1OC
1630-1830: Running
After 1830: RC comm discussion about BBQ
Gimme an idea what to do from 1200 to 1445. Almost three solid hours. I hate it when I'm bored. I hate it when I'm alone. I hate it when my thoughts start to run wild. I hate the way I feel every night.
She said,
'But nothing's gonna change for you even if you cry a thousand million tears.'
Jam's 王妃 is on air now. ^^v
I know I've been saying this many many times, but it seems only yesterday that we received our streaming results. I won't forget how hard it was initially. I couldn't even stand looking at Kw and gang during recess in the beginning, because it reminds me that we're in separate classes now.. Well I've grown used to that now, and in a good way, it drew some of us even closer together. Plus we have more stuff to talk about. :D Hor deard?
Speaking of Ayyx! She gave us an envelope on the last day of ECP with a small booklet inside. She was dismayed when we told us we sort of crumpled the envelops by accident. :/ Cuz we placed it in our pockets. But in any case, it was really sweet of us to give us that booklet. :D She said I've become stronger y'know! Hahah. I remember that Sjh told me that I can only cry once per week last year. I don't think I managed to do that.. But I did cry less anyw. Or not. At least I cried a lot less due to my results! Hahah.
For the first few months of 2009 I regretted taking trip sciences. I miss my 2H08 so badly that it hurts to think of them. There was a period of time when I cried whenever I see/read stuff regarding 2H08 or those that remind me of 2H08. That's how bad it was. But it's gotten a lot better now. Don't get me wrong though, I still love 2H08 and I will always do, cuz those peepo, esp clique, have given me perhaps one of the best moments of my life. I still miss 2H08 and I look forward to class chalet all the same! :D
It occurred to me that probably I've lost you as a friend for ever since then. Well I hafta admit you were a good friend, so it's pretty much of a sad loss I suppose. Plus we were good friends in the first place. I hope you didn't forget that, lol. But what that has been done cannot be changed, so I guess.. I have to live with this regret. It's like losing a very good friend y'know. Like a scar etched in your mind eternally, mourning over the loss (eew so melodramatic, tsk). Hmm. This feels like having a cold war with a good friend. But in a way it's more than just a cold war.
I miss clique so much. Both girls and guys and those in between (ahem).
I CAN'T WAIT FOR CLASS CHALETTTTTTTT! :D To be cooped up in Aranda with you guys again, singing into the night, trying to bbq the food and trying to start the fire, playing games and what not. ELX (ie Tiu tiu :D) and Baby come back quicklyyyyyyyy so we can go crazy about chalet! :D But we still have to sort out the attendance though. :/
I wanna go Partyworld with girlxzxzxzxz! Mummy, I'm sorry but I have to say this: whenever I feel bored or unhappy, I look at the vid of her dancing/singing Sorry Sorry and it cheers me up HAHAH. :D No need to care about doing throw-face actions or singing off pitch cuz they're all my best friends. You don't have to put up a facade in front of your BFs. I needa get outta my house and pack my schedule so that I have less time to think about stupid senseless stuff. Maybe I should take Darren's advice and run for 12km. No, joking. I can't even run 2km non stop for Pete's sake (I think). But most probably I'll go out for a jog later in the evening.
I went to bed last night feeling screwed (okay I WAS). Had a very weird dream. It felt so real. Was I thinking too much? Hahah.. But in any case, I woke up feeling better than I did the previous time I woke up. I hope this trend continues. I'm getting there, I'm getting there..
It takes two to clap and I'm at fault as well. Hang in there. (:
Because I had too much time on my hands, I decided to walk from Northpoint to Mr gan's this afternoon. It was pretty cool anyway, since it was breezy and all. I think I left my house a bit too early, so I tried to slow down my pace and walk very slowly. But in the end, despite walking slowly from my home to Admiralty Mrt station, slowly went up to take the train and slowly walked to Mr gan's, I still got there in less than an hour. Was bored stiff there cuz I couldn't go up yet. -.-
Tuition today was okay. Very little peepo came, for some unknown reason. It's really quiet without Baby, Eun and I being boomerangs, seriously. But finally I managed to understand everything Mr gan taught today. :D Thanks to Baby and Rh for smsing me during tuition, or I would have cried. LOL. And thanks to Baby I nearly LOLed in class many times today. -.-
Walked back to the Mrt station after tuition too. So I saved 90 cents of bus fare today! ^^v I think I'll be walking to and from Mr gan's starting next week, if the weather and my body condition permit. I wonder why my body also has this adverse reaction whenever I suffer from an emotional setback. Bah.
Baby still can't stop smsing me. I guess I'm too attractive. LOL, joking. I think she's really intent on bombing her phone bill. And whatever happens Baby, you can't send it to me. ^^v Stop talking about kayaking and that _____ please. So irritating of you. :P
Oh shootz. I just realised that means Standard Chartered is merely.. 14/15 days away. Time flies huh. And shortly after will be the Bintan trip (I miss exco!) and then CLASS CHALETTTTTTTT. ^^v Then come next year, we've all really gotta get geared up for mad revision and intensive mugging. O's is not a game we're talking about. You either ace it or you flunk it, and your future depends on that milestone. So please start on your homewk early so that you can have some time to let down your hair at the end of the hols before uh, welcoming 2010 with open arms.
Woah, I'm in S4 next year. This feels weird. I'm gonna be SIXTEEN next year! Shucks, I feel old. -.- 1H was innocent and noisy, 2H was lively and absolutely memorable, 3H was quiet initially but now we get complained by teachers LOL. I wonder how 4H will be like. (Ps. I like the sound of '4H' better than '3H' for some inexplicable reason) When you're in the process of doing sth, time passs slowly. But when you look back at it, you'd realise that it really waits for no one. So you either move along with time, or get left behind.
S2 streaming results were released yesterday. It reminded me of 2H08 girls crying last year. Till today I won't forget the heartbreaking scene. We started crying from BK till we got home. At least one solid hour of crying. That kind of sorrow when you realise you're going to separate with peepo who have watched you grow up and have given you one of the best moments of your life to date, it's torturous. We occupied one carriage on the train and continued to cry. The guys were at a loss for words. I won't forget what Wen liu said..
'No matter how bad we cry, I don't want this train ride to end'.
3 cheers for 2H(08)! 11 claps.
3 cheers for 2H(08)! 11 claps.
3 cheers and 3 cheers and 3 cheers for 2H(08)! 11 claps.
WHOOOOOOOO!
I really miss you guys a lot. After talking to Kw yesterday I miss you guys even more.
I went to J8, Northpoint and Sun Plaza with Mummy. Brought back a lot of memories, bitter sweet memories.. Finally I understand how to feel hurt when refreshing happy memories and how to feel happy when relieving pain. Hahah. Christmas is coming. I see peepo trotting down the street with Santa's cap. I saw beautiful white snow. I saw many snowmen.
Gonna meet BFF later.
Chong is away climbing a mountain at Nepal, Eun is away at Japan having the time of her lives, Baby is at M'sia feeding chicken and eating till her tummy explodes and BFF, Deard and Jm will be held up with CO stuff. Boriiiiiiing. No one to hang out with. :( And I don't feel like doing homewk. I wanted to do EM just now! But ended up talking to Chong. :D
Still lazy to post about OBS. :D
CHONG, do be extremely careful when you get to Nepal! 14 days is a very long period of time, so take good care of yourself and PLEZ ask for help when you need it okay. Don't always put on a brave front. >< It's going to be really cold so remember to keep yourself warm and DON'T FALL SICK THERE! I want my Chong to come back in one piece. ^^v KEEP SAFE AND HAVE FUN! Will miss you.
TIU TIU and BABY (thou she's across the custom alr), I'm not so worried cuz you girls are going away for holidays and you're with your fam. Don't miss me too much and take care of yourself too! Come back quickly okay. Will miss you two super badly. Cuz you being away means I have to go for RC sessions and tuition alone. :( No more fun and laughter, urgh.
Whenever I think of Wen liu sleep talking I seriously feel like LOL-ing, HAHAHAH. :D
OKAY! Going out now, yay. ^^v See you all!
I never thought I would say this, but... I actually miss OBS and Pulau Ubin! I was struggling with myself before I went. I was fervently counting the number of hours left before I could go home, but I didn't think that during our final reflection today, I would break down and cry. It wasn't because I felt really horrible, but cuz there was just an outburst of all sorts of emotions. I will remember all the things we'd gone thru. An OBS camp is really a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Well, like Sherrill said, 'No one can hate OBS, really' .
I don't know where to start now, really. A lot of things happened within those five days and I don't have that good a memory to give you guys a blow-by-blow of what happened. So well, I'll just pick on those important points that I feel have impacted me quite a fair bit. ^^
We had to survive on food ration (but there's ample of it, really), couldn't bathe for two days, had to pee/shit in the sea/drain/beach, sleep in a tent on dirty soiled ground, wear the same dirty clothes to sleep and wake up in it the next day and so on and so forth. We even had to cook our own canned food and rice/noodles using mesh tins, solid fuel and bricks. Surprisingly, I realised that I don't miss my phone, computer etc. that much when thrown into that kind of circumstance. I missed my bed, the food my mum cooked and the proper toilet facilities. It was seemingly insignificant luxury that I so often neglected that I started to miss badly.
Now I know why the seas in Sg are so polluted! When we went kayaking, we had to go into the sea to either pee or do big business. Speaking of kayaking, we kayaked for almost 10 hours in total across a span of three days. We kayaked from Pulau Ubin to Punggol on Tuesday, Punggol to Sembawang on Wednesday and from Sembawang all the way back to Pulau Ubin on Thursday! It was really, really very tiring, having to brave the heat of the sun and pedal on despite your arm muscles aching like crazy. It was more like..a mental torture. The peepo around you are pedalling like crazy and you can't afford to pull the entire team back. So fatigue is further compounded with peer pressure, and I swear it's really a very sick feeling. We had to practise capsizing twice and on the first try, I nearly couldn't survive cuz I poked my head into the seater. -.-
I had my first experience of shitting in the wild. :D Even when I was young I've never done it. But on Thursday, I did my business in a more secluded area of the beach cuz the toilets at the Sbw Water Centre (or sth like that) were not open for public use.
However I may hate the camp initially, I didn't wanna go home, cuz it means having to face reality again. But now that I am..
Okay maybe I shall post tml when I feel more composed. I’m dying of itch. I have a lot of sand fly and mozzie bites on my legs now and I’m going crazy!
Hi everyone. I've gone crazy and decided to wake up to use the comp at this unearthly hour. No actually I don't exactly have a choice. I had a hard time falling asleep last night. And imagine how I felt when I woke up so clear-headed in the morning and realised it's only 0400 hours. Argh. Usually when I wake up at 0545 I still feel drowsy. This sucks. I'm supposed to be catching as much sleep as possible.
I had a very bad headache during tuition. So I ended up asking for Baby's help for almost every question we did. I couldn't really focus and kept making careless mistakes, which is so not good. My head throbbed to the extent I felt nauseous, ew. And now it's still hurting slightly. Why does all the weird and unfortunate things happen the day before OBS. Familiar, no? Lol.
I'm going to be really homesick for the next 5 days. Till this moment I still feel very apprehensive about the trip. Things would have been so much better if I could be grouped with Baby, Eun, Wen liu or John. Loads better. But well, I guess this camp is really about stepping out of your comfort zone. All I can do now is to pray that my other group mates will be nice and easy-going. :) I just hope that these 5 days will pass in the twinkling of an eye. Literally.
Take care of yourself peepo. (: Esp peepo going to Nepal in around 6-7 days' time. You've really gotta take good care of yourself while on that mountain. It's a 9-days ascend-cum-descend. Personally I feel it's more like a test of mental strength than physical ability. I guess having mental strength to ward off temptations to rest, to pause, to give up is essential in being a leader. In that case, I can never be an efficient and strong leader. And you know why. While spreading love to the Nepal orphans, don't forget to continue loving yourself and really be careful.
It's weird how things change so quickly sometimes. Small minute insignificant ones, and major ones that take you by surprise. I can't sleep. Cuz my entire brain is whirring from all the memories and thoughts. I cannot stop contrasting what I heard yesterday from what I heard barely two days before. This is one of the few times I don't know how to express my feelings with words. Usually I can relate whatever I wanna express through words easily, but this time, I'm stumped. I can only use simplistic words like 'unbelievable', 'doubtful' and 'confusion' that probably only show you a fragment of a minute fraction of a percent of how I feel exactly.
I hate it when I'm stumped for words. I don't like the idea of not knowing how to describe the way I feel. That explains the 'indescribable' (I hope I spelt it correctly) yesterday. So many times I wanna back out of it. So many times I wanna give in to temptation. So many times I wanna regret. But I lost my right to regret the moment I said I won't. It's kind of contradictory that I just expressed my tinge of regret here, but that's how I feel. Wanting to regret without having the right to do so. Wanting to turn back even though I know we're on a point of no return.
I never learn from my mistakes. Alright maybe 'never' is a bit of an exaggeration, but I pretty much rarely learn from major mistakes. Like I've never managed to kick the bad habit of being careless since what, primary one? Yeah that's how bad it is. I always succumb to temptations. And in situations like that it's bad. Really bad. I don't wanna be stuck in this stupid predicament and dilemma so I wanna move on. But despite wanting to move on I fear the consequences of walking away. Can I? Must I? Will I get used to it? How long will I take?
I've completely no idea. Not even a hint of how I may feel.
So what do I do now. Stuff myself with work when I come back? Do the extremes? Pack my days with voluntary work and enrichment classes? Really get into the mugging rhythm? I don't feel like I'm ready for this big drastic change. But then again, usually change of this magnitude approaches without notice. And suddenly it changes the momentum of your life. The momentum you're so accumtomed to moving at. So here I am in reality, smacked right on my face with the pressure to adapt to this great (like, magnitude) change.
I'm listening to Canon now, in a desperate attempt to set myself at peace mentally. Once a friend commented that Canon was divine on FB. I cannot agree more. I had three very close friends who each played canon for me once when I was down in the doldrums. And they all played Canon on different instruments. But still Canon sounded so beautiful. It really reaches out to me in a special way I can't thumb an explanation to. It serves as an acute expression of their concern for me, and I can give Canon no higher praise than that.
So well. Who will play Canon for me now? The sound of the waves in Ubin? The rustling of the leaves? Ha.
The wheels are set in motion. While the world is moving (charging, more likely) ahead I cannot afford to stay rooted to where I am now. I cannot expect the world to gravitate around me cuz it's never going to happen. No matter how daunting it is, I've gotta move on. There's no pointing pinning for something that's never going to come back to you. It was like missing 2H08 so badly all over again. Reaching your arms into non-entity, fervently hoping to lay your hands upon a familiar past and bringing it all back to you. With each complication, the issue is convoluted more than before, and in the end, we have a mangled, contorted piece of memory laying in our hands. Imagine how that would feel, knowing you twisted it in your own bare hands.
From whichever angle I view it from, everything still seems so surreal. Everything around me seems surreal. Even the fact that I'm heading off for Ubin in approximately three and a half hours time.
I'm supposed to wake up only an hour later. I must be going insane, choosing not to sleep, something which I will be seriously deprived of for the next few days. This sucks. I feel worn out even after three days of camp, what more FIVE days. Plus I hate camps in the first place. I don't remember looking forward to any camps. Unwillingness, hampered with fatigue and fear, doesn't give me a pretty package. I find myself looking upon a lost cause.
Well, I hope I can dispel all this discomfort when I set foot on Ubin. I hope I can enjoy myself there and come back missing the camp. That would be nice, yes. (: Like John said, 'you are going there for 5 days, why not try to enjoy it to the fullest'. Thanks to all those peepo who tried to allay my fears about the camp. Even though frankly, I'm still as apprehensive as I was weeks ago, I'm grateful for your effort. ^^ It's nice to know that in times of adversary peepo still try to reach out to you. But unfortunately, there are just some things that you have to do alone. There are some journeys you have to take without company. But if you manage to complete the journey, you won't be catapulted back into the past anymore.
The concern always lies with the journey. The faltering determination and wavering mind. To peepo who read Harry Potter, it's like trying to repent after making a hocrux. It's possible to fix your soul again after maiming it with murder. But the process of repenting and regretting is usually so painful and overwhelming, the wizard/witch dies attempting it. So in the end, he/she still lost the game.
LOL. Akw and I spoke to each other at the same time an estimated two minutes ago because we were both surprised that anyone else would be awake at this time of the day. Eh. Hold on and make it through these 11 days ba. ^^ I miss my old cheerful daddy. Even though he's no longer the person I first came to know in Sec one, there are some things that he does that makes me realise underneath the facade, he's still the Ang Kar Wee I know. He still sacrifices for the girl he likes. Like RH, I trust him in a way I can't explain.
I'm still listening to Canon. It seems like listening to Canon alleviates my pain slightly. I can relate to Canon no matter how I feel. When I'm happy, Canon is a happy tune. When I'm upset, Canon is a sorrowful tune. But whichever it is, it's still beautiful. It's a flawless masterpiece. Pachelbel is a genius indeed. He created a piece of music that literally took the world by storm even centuries after he's gone on. I even used to tell BFF that I'll marry whoever plays Canon for me. Back then it wasn't so possible, but now it might be. Even though the entire idea seems more abstract when I look at it now.
Here's something that I cooked up during EL lecture the other day:
A leader does the task given to him.
A good leader does the task given to him well.
An excellent leader influences the minds around him.
The best leader ensures his legacy lives on even when he's gone.
I hope it makes sense to you. :)
Humans love when they don't have the capacity to accept the repercussion of loving wrongly. Humans make promises when they clearly know they cannot fulfil it. Humans make silent agreements with their inner selves despite knowing they would breach the agreement. Life is a process of making mistakes and repeating them again. As we move along we collect the experience of making these mistakes and dub them as 'memories'. However painful, it lives on. Maybe there are some mistakes that we can never correct. We always swear to correct them but they metamorphose into other forms and come back again and again.
Just my two cents worth. Give it a thought. You can leave a comment if you wanna express your views, I won't mind hearing about them even if they are vile. :P
Okay, I'm really going off now.. Will be back after 5 days of feeding mozzies. :D
All said in a moment of pique cannot be taken back.
I'M GOING FOR OBS TML.
Please pray hard for me, thank you very much. ^^v
Thanks to all kaypoh (joking) peepo who cared. :-* I will miss you during OBS HAHAH.
准备好的最后一份礼物还在我手里。
说好不流的眼泪还是不听话的留下来。
希望随着泪水的流去，思念也会逐渐消失。
到了最后，最美丽的回忆都化成了灰烟，而最丑陋的往事却成了心中抹去不掉的烙印。
时间很可怕。改变更可怕。
最后连一开那美妙的爱情都也演变成恶毒的仇恨。
最后的一句思念还没说出口就打算离去。
最后的信封还没发出去就成了回忆。
夜晚总是最难熬的。
现在在黑暗的夜晚不可以寂寞，不可以怕黑。
寒冷的冬天不会有拥抱。
离开五天，就当作是休息时间。
希望回来后日子会更幸福，更好过。。
- Mood:
indescribable
Hello, I'm back from NE camp. I promise to sleep in tml morning cuz that's something I can't do for the next five days. Well. I don't have a bed. But I have a tent and lots of mosquitos and god knows what other bugs there are out there for company. And on the train home today AYYX told me that Pulau Ubin is haunted and that, of cuz, made me feel even better.
Yesterday was Mr oh's last day with us. It's kinda sad actually. I think perhaps HCL students feel more sentimental than the rest of the cohort, cuz after all, Mr oh accompanied us on our final lap towards chinese O's. I remember how we used to dislike him, poke fun at the things he did and gossip behind his back. But towards the end of this year, it dawned on us that he's actually a very caring year head. Maybe he's right. No one cares about this S3 cohort more than Mr oh. It's funny to look back at how we used to pray fervently that he's not our year head and now that he's finally leaving us, we're kinda upset.
I just wish he could hand us our chinese O's results. That he could walk with us towards O's next year (so melodramatic). He said we were his pride and glory. Well, I'm thankful that we are. It's always like this, isn't it, we only learn how to treasure when we're on the verge of losing something or someone.
No one to say 'I'm very allergic to noise' next year anymore. Sigh. Good teachers are leaving one by one. And he gave me a stalk of LOTUS during recess. God I freaked out when Xiao mei passed me the lotus and said it was from Mr oh. But it sort of wilted cuz it wasn't put in water. Ah. Loss of turgidity. The guys went to draw on the petals. -.- I think I left it in the Science lab, where Yk tried to revive it by placing it in water.
Mr oh asked for the guys in 3G/H to meet him at C105 to help arrange tables and chairs I think. So during AM, someone told Ms woo about it and she didn't much attention to that notice. So while she turned her back to us and scribbled some stuff on the board, the guys, most of whom were cluttered at the back of the class, left pretty quietly. And when she turned around, I swear her expression was epic! LOL. The entire back row was gone. And the few others left one by one also. But she got pretty pissed after that and lectured us for a while. No one talked to her for the rest of the AM lesson and she said she felt guilty. HAHAHAH. :D
I screwed my graph for bio spa. :( It makes a lot of difference between and A1 and an A2. Mr chang treated the few of us who helped out for Scarnival to pizzas after Chem. Thanks. :D Gossiped in the lab for a while before heading for NE camp.
The entire camp was pretty relaxed I'd say? Hahah. We watched a movie about witches before going for haunted house. The guys wanted to watch a thai horror fic initially. -.- The haunted house was pretty scary and fun. When we reached the third level, Syafiq popped up with curly wig and freaked us out. Then we were chased to outside 3H, where stupid Wei yi stood to scream at us. We were saying, '好好的一间课室变成一个鬼屋'. :D It WAS scary in there though.
Farhana was sitting in a corner playing with some toys and making weird sound. Rh had a piece of black cloth draped over her and she was slithering all over the floor. God. She kept coming up to us. And I threw a chair at her out of desperation. -.- SORRY. :/ Rh was pretty pitiable. I threw a chair at her, Chong tickled her, someone stepped on her fingers and we even pulled the black cloth off her. LOL. AND HOR! I've been good friends with Chong with around 5 years. And yesterday was the first time I linked arms with her! Cuz of the haunted house. :D
Haikal was dressed up as a ghost also. Which was pretty hilarious given the sorta-serious person Haikal is known to be. HAHAH. :D He kept pulling his wig off and complaining of itch though. Syafiq was being very scary, HAHAH. His eyes were exceptionally large! We even had to search for a Deathnote book and some other stuff in the dark. Was pretty fun cuz in the end no one was really afraid.
Had a good night sleep after that. I dreamed that we decorated our classroom for CNY. -.-
The next morning was slightly less happening. I only remember talking to the girls about religions and tertiary institute options and playing the water bombs. :D I paired up with Jia yi (from 2H09) for the station game. Really nice girl. ^^ Rh poured the water down my torso when she realised I was kinda of dry compared to her, who was soaked to the bones. :D At the end of the game, Jasper was still very dry and the last bomb I threw at him didn't burst and he was very happy about it. -.- But while clearing up I found a plastic bag still containing water and poured it on him. So he kept saying..
'Emily, you're a very good senior. Thanks ah!' (Thumbs up)
HAHAHAHAH!
Washed up after that and had lunch, before we proceeded to do planning for TD 2010. It was pretty productive, and I realise hyperactive peepo like Kelvin and Jun jie are rather serious when it comes to work. Hmm. It was great working with them anyway. :D But whenever I drew a smiley face, Kelvin would say 'Act cute!' Whack him. -.-
KUDOS TO ALL CAMP FACILITATORS FOR WORKING SO HARD FOR THIS CAMP! Esp our comm members, RONGHER, FARHANA, WEI LE, HAIKAL AND SYAFIQ! :D
We heard the sec four students cheering after their last paper on Friday. It was actually great hearing them cheer like that. I can literally feel the happiness bubbling in them! I hope our turn comes very soon. The graduating seniors worked really hard for this moment. I hope they get the results they deserve next year. :) GOOD LUCK!
We realised we're gonna be the seniors of the lot next year. Hmm. Time flies.
IT'S STUPID TO FLIP THRU THE BIO TB AND MEMORISE BLINDLY.
D:
But in any case, good luck to all pure bio students!
Two hours of AM today. Ms woo happily told us that for the first time, we finished lesson before the bell rang! -.- Phys SPA was okay..? I hope I got the alignment and measurements correct though. :/ It wasn't as nerve-wrecking as it was when we had our first Chem spa. Hmm. I thought SS was pretty enjoyable today, cuz Ms kaur was telling us stories about terrorism. :D Not that I'm a sucker for terrorism anyw. AND I ACTUALLY MANAGED TO COMPLETE TITRATION SUCCESSFULLY TODAY! ^^v Finally. Finally. Finally.
Went for lunch @ Northpoint with Baby, Eun and Chong. I realise Chong always embarrasses herself when she's outta school you know. LOL! After that she went back to school for training and the rest of us shopped for OBS stuff. We made a lot of noise in the stores. -.- But it was fun. :D Eun and I went to open a lot of bottles of soap, conditioner and shampoo to smell them. We were like glue sniffers. -.- But I love Dove products! They all have a really nice sweet smell. ^^
Going for NE camp tml! Will be back on Sat. :D Tuition on Sun and I'm off for OBS next week.
...To all Phys SPA candidates tml! Remember to go thru The Piece of Gold and The Diamond. ^^ Don't freak cuz it's O's. We've survived the catastrophic Chem SPA before already, so I believe we can ace Phys SPA tml too! Be careful not to make mistakes like parallex error, and yada yada yada you-know-what! :D
TODAY IS 11/11. :D Tu me manques, if you've just scanned across that four digits. HAHAH. Okay it's not funny.
It was entertaining to listen to Yk and Jy going into fervent discussion about writing a 公函 to the school to complain about blablabla. LOL. As usual, copied down notes during bio without fully understanding and internalising them cuz we were pressed for time. I'll bet that before we know it, Mrs choo will announce that she has completed the chapter on Ecology already. And we got an ambiguous project investigation for homework. And she refuses to give us any clue at all about SPA on fri. :(
It's not even friday, and we're packed with homework already. Well well. The kiasu spirit is truly inculcated in all Singaporeans, teachers NOT excluded. Hmm. Thinking about SS homework makes me wanna cry already. :(
We have TWO hours of AM. I was close to dropping on the ground and sobbing into my hands when I saw the time table. Okay, slight exaggeration but you get my point. I guess a (hopefully small) portion of our recess is gonna be chipped off again. I'm sure Ms woo is extremely eager about the lesson tml! I mean, how many teachers get to talk about Mouse Hunt with their students during lesson? :D RH and I were predicting what homework we'd be getting for AM and we're totally turned off by the hypothesis.
Headed to North point with my beloved Bff cuz I needed to get stuff for Grad Nite. Then we settled for lunch at Mac's! My goodness. I think this is one of the few times, if not the first, that we went out straight after school together. And guess what, we've been schoolmates for the ninth year running. Hahah. :D We saw a friend from her religious class and Mr koh! You remember, the NIE trainee who was our PE teacher in... S1 i think. Don't remember clearly. Apparently he thought we were in S4 and we finished our O's. LOL!
There's this stupid beetle that keeps flying about my house at night. It keeps going tok tok tok on the lamp and it's REALLY JARRING ON MY NERVES! I was jumping up and down with a file in hand, in the hope that I could smack it. But unfortunately for me and fortunately for the beetle, I'm too short to reach it and it's too fast for me to hit it accurately. Once it was IN my bush of hair and I didn't even know until I ran my finger through my hair randomly! Argh, totally grossed out.
I wanna buy a french dictionary! But then again, I still want The Lost Symbol. :(
Actually I still have chem and geog homework. :( Byebye.
WHOOPEEEEE, CHINESE O'S ARE OVER! :D Paper one was manageable. I thought of Mr gan immediately when I saw the 私函 question! I spent too much time writing 私函 and had too little time for 作文. I botched up my 作文 with that sketchy ending due to time constraint, and that's really stupid cuz 作文 carries a higher mark weightage as compared to 私函. Ah, bull. :/ Paper two was rather tough though. I thought it was more like a HCL paper.
Well screwed or not, our fates are sealed and we'll get to know about our results in a few months' time.
I was really touched by the teachers this morning thou. Most MT teachers walked up to the exam venue with us. Yang lao shi said she wanted to reassure us with her presence cuz she knew we were panicking inside. I thought that was really sweet. :D She kept telling us to just put in our best effort and stay calm. Even Mr lee came down to wish us good luck! I hope we won't let Mr oh down after all he's done for us. He really has high expectations for us.
Had lunch with Baby, Eun and Chong after school. It was a blast! Hahah. We walked around till 2pm before going to Pastamania cuz the promotion was only on from 2pm to 5pm. But actually there's no need to wait such a long time before going into Pastamania, cuz apparently, Elaine Chong took a REALLY, REALLY long time to take her pick. But eating with them was a laugh. Literally. Cuz we all couldn't stop laughing. -.- Most of the time we were laughing at Chong. Like the choco mousse and the funny action. :D Sorry for the lack of details cuz some of them are REALLY embarrassing. I can't afford to blab, cuz well, I walk with her every morning. -.-
But you can always try your luck and see if Baby feeds her blog with all the juicy details later on. :D
Homework spoils the day, bah.
Although quite a number of us were pissed with Ms woo yesterday for eating into our lunch time, it was quite a hilarious sight to watch Ms woo being dissed by Yk and Jy? Lol. All those stuff about Mouse Hunt novice, kick boxing and what not. She would have been a really cute teacher if not for the amount of homework she gives and how she always deprives us of recess or lunch time.
No doubt I admire Ris Low for her ability to appear nonchalant even after being hit with so much criticism and such. But sometimes I honestly wonder if she has any shame at all.
